IT IS WITH THE SINCEREST REGRET
THAT I INFORM YOU OF
A SERIES OF WONDERFUL
BUT UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

HALF TRUTHS AND FULL LIES
A CHOKED LAUGH, A ROBUST CRY
A UNFETTERED ZEST FOR LIFE
WITHIN A VESPIARY OF VICE

OPTIMISTICALLY PESSIMISTIC
POSITIVELY NEGATIVE
I LOVE LIFE, BUT HATE SOCIETY
THE WORLD IS FULL AND I’M HALF EMPTY

ALL THAT REPELS ME ATTRACTS ME
ALL THAT DISGUSTS ME FASCINATES ME
EVERY THING SEEMS SO RICH
WHEN I’M LIVING CHEAP

ONE JUST NEED LOOK AT THE HEADLINES
AND THEN GO OUTSIDE
TO COMPREHEND THE UTTER DISGUST OF BEING HUMAN
AND THE PURE JOY OF BEING ALIVE